Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Still Me

I first started this blog in 2008. A little over a year ago in 2011, my life-long identity crisis came to a head and I decided that the only solution was to delete my blog.

???

I suppose it was the most extreme way I could think of to express my dissatisfaction with myself. Sort of like deleting myself, maybe? (No shortage of melodrama around here, folks.) I did love blogging and hoped that one day I would make a comeback as a different person - all grown up and able to poignantly express my beautifully wisened self through words and pictures.

Well, I'm back, and let me tell you... I'm still me. And I'm still in full-blown identity crisis mode that I've come to realize is just part of who I am. Insecure and always hoping that my white swan transformation is right around the corner.

But these days, I'm finding myself okay with that. Shortly after my no-more-blogging tantrum last year, my life changed drastically. External circumstances bulldozed through my little world and altered its landscape forever, along with my perception of myself and so many other things. And now, the most heroic thing I can do on any given day is just to laugh... forget trying to be a better mother, housekeeper, blogger, quilter, etc.

So here I am - leaving behind the soul-wrenching angst at the thought of my 17 followers skimming through my text just to glance at my pictures - and fully embracing my ridiculous mediocrity, knowing that it has the power to make me smile like nothing else.

Made in September 2011 for my new little cousin, Charlie. =)

5 comments:

Pieces of Cotton said...

I keep wanting to say 'welcome back,' except I didn't know you before.

Molly said...

Hello there! It's nice to see you back in my reader! I must have been one of those 17 followers:)

I'm sorry you had an identity crisis but I have to admit it's so nice to know other people go through the same angst that I do. No one's life is perfect and sometimes knowing you're not alone in your crazy self-doubt and dissatisfaction. Thanks for coming back and expressing yourself so eloquently.

Molly said...

Oops! Never finished my sentence. ..... knowing you're not alone is comforting. There. Told you I wasn't perfect.

Jackie said...

Welcome back! I must be one of the 17 too! I'm not going through an identity crisis but I very well might be depending on some uncontrollable events happening in my life now turn out.

I look at the pictures sure but I read the words too.

LJ said...

hugs hugs and more hugs